I DON'T WANT HIM TO GROW UP :(

As i sit here thinking man i should really be tackling those mounds and i mean mounds of laundry that have been piling up in our family room on the couches. i have a few things i have to get off my my mommy chest. As i just got done arguing with austin that he needs to eat his dinner as he tells me hes not hungry and he wants to play a game and i have to tell him you have to eat your food and then you need to take a bath i finally get him in the tub getting him out is another issue austin it's time to get out of the tub please no you can not play for 10 more minutes your starting to look like a raisin and the water is cold and we need to go to bed because you have preschool in the morning after he finally gets out and after he does his cool trick onto his bed and he wiggled into his p.js now we argue about how many books we are going to read i say one he says 5 no austin we cannot read 5 books and no you cannot play any more video games as he cries big croc tears. As i realize eventhough it is soooo hard to be strong as he wimpers and pleads with me as if all of his hopes and dreams will be crumbled if i don't let him just play one more game or read just 1 more book i just stay strong tuck him in and kiss his forhead andclimb into bed with him as he with his sad little voices says i'm hungry or i need a drink so i take a deep breathe cause he knows thats a no no so i get him a drink or whetever he needs to survive the night i give him my hand to hold in hopes that letting him hold my hand as he falls asleep will be just as good or even better than a video game. and after his tight little grasp loosens from my finger and i sneek a peak to see if he is really asleep thats when i enjoy him the most thats when hes my best guy again thats when i wana cry cause were did my little guy go who always only wanted mommy when mommy was the only one who could make it better when he did things cause mommy said and he loved mommys' loves. when i didn't have to ask him thousands of times to do something or not to do something. when he didn't make little winny noises just to see how long he could make them without me going crazy. i love my little guy more than i ever have hes the best little guy but he sure knows hows to test his mommy i guess it's good that he has preschool 3 times a week i think we both could use it. and maybe some special mommy and son dates. ne who i'm sure this is just him going through one of those phases i know deep down he still loves his mommy this is just me rambling it's just so hard being a mommy sometimes.